And then things started goin wrong
What' s this?
This is the place where it all happens, baby.
Come on.
Mi casa, es su casa
Greg! I thought we were going out somewhere!
Why go out, baby?
We got it all right here!
Best sound system you ever heard,
a little hot tub, swimming pool...
The Gregster might even break out his secret stash
of blow.
Uh, Greg...
Uh, I thought, uh...
Why don't we Just drive for a little longer,
this car makes me so hot!
I ' ll leave the front door open if you wanna follow me, okay?
Jewel : Greg?
Score!
Oh, shit!
Greg?
Greg!!!
Randy!
I had a feeling you ' d find your way.
This is a nice house.
Too bad you ' re such a shit.
Heh!
Greg: A little dirty-talker.
Okay, okay, come on, let's talk.
Why don't we go downstairs and have a drink?
I have a better idea, baby. Let's talk after.
Bitch!
Come on, baby, come on!
Get off me!
Ha ha!
Bitch.
You like it a little rough, huh?
Oh, yeah, you wanna play?
We' ll play rough.
We' ll play very --
Ungh!
Oh, my God, I don't believe this.
What is it with you?
Everywhere you go, there's a dead guy.
Take the DVD.
Take the DVD!
I 'm not takin' the DVD.
Why not?
Well, I don't know,
it Just does n't seem right.
It was all right before?
Before there wasn't a dead guy Iyin' on the floor.
Y'know, I never saw a dead person till i met you.
The guy was trying to rape me,
does that mean anything to you?
Now take the DVD!
I 'm not takin' the DVD!
Don't you want to live in the type of house
that has a first-rate home entertainment center,
including a DVD?
I already got his big-screen.
I don't see the difference between taking his big-screen
or taking his DVD - - I want that DVD.
'Cause the big-screen is already down in the car.
Jewel : I get all dressed up,
I get a friggin' shiner,
I don't get dinner,
and I don't get the DVD - -
Randy: I didn't care about the TV,
I was Just doin this to make Jewel happy
But you didn't take the DVD.
TV: A local attorney was found slain this morning...
Jewel : I do not believe we were in that gazillion-dollar house
and we didn't end up with a thing.
Did you forget about the dead guy on the floor?
No, I did not forget about the dead guy on the floor,
but we're not talking about him right now,
we're talking about the dead guy on the floor's stuff,
and he had a lot of stuff, stuff we could have taken
if you weren't such a chickens hit.
What's that?
So now I 'm a chicken shit, is that it?
Yes, I believe that's the technical term for what you are.
Yeah, well, I 'd rather be a chicken shit
than whatever the hell is it that you are.
I 'm the woman living with the chicken shit.
Not for long.
Yeah, not for long, that's right,
because I need a real man, someone I can count on,
not a chicken shit like you.
Ah, good, company.
TV : Thus far, police have no leads...
It's that cop!
Aren't you glad we don't have
a lot of stolen stuff Iyin' around now?
You're a genius.
- Hi. - Morning.
Thought you'd wanna know
we closed the investigation on the shooting at McCool 's,
no charges will be filed.
We're gonna let you slide on the unregistered gun
'cause it was self-defense.
Thanks.
Everything okay, ma'am?
Yeah. Sure.
Those are some pretty nasty bruises.
Huh?
Oh yeah, she - - had an accident.
Accident?
Would you mind if I talk to her for a minute?
Sure.
Alone?
Okay.
At the time, I was glad Jewel was gonna talk to him
She knew how to handle the cops,
what to say to get rid of em
She was good that way
Whatever happened in there,
she doesn't want to talk about it.
That's 'cause nothing happened.
What we do in these domestic violence situations
is ask you to vacate the premises.
What domestic violence?!
I will go to a Judge who will issue a restraining order
which means you are not allowed on this property - -
This is my house!
Or within 100 yards of your wife until this matter is settled.
She's not my wife!
That's too bad - - you'd have more rights if she were.
You expect me to Just walk away?
If you don't, I 'm afraid I 'm gonna have to arrest you.
You can't be serious!
This- - this-- can't I Just talk to her?
I don't think that would be wise at this time, sir.
Whatever she told you, she's-- she--
It's not true,
y'know, okay?
Hey, Jewel, honey, could you come out here, please?
I could still book you on the unregistered gun.
Hun!
Jewel!
Would you be kind enough to tell the police officer
that I didn't hit you!
Would you please tell the officer
that I didn't do anything to you?
Don't make me use force, sir.
Jewel!
Randy: I couldn't believe it
I was so pissed at her I thought I was gonna explode
Well, I gotta admit, she's not perfect.
Not perfect?!
Charlie: She's like this pure, delicate flower,
I Just wanted to protect her.
- But, uh, she was living with another man.
- That piece of slime? he didn't deserve her.
And you did?
I don't know.
Oh, Charlie.
I was totally cons umed by her.
My every thought was of her.
I was walkin' around in a haze.
People talked to me,
but I didn't hear what they were saying
Cop: Gregory Potter Spradling.
A lawyer at Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.
What did he do?
" Do"?
For a living.
Lawyer. Ragsdale, Hersch & Klein.
- It doesn't make sense.
Why would you go to all the trouble
of stealing a big-screen TV and leave a DVD behind?
Poor guy
The only thing goin through my head
was her
Everything okay, ma'am?
Yeah. Sure.
Those are some pretty nasty bruises.
Would you mind if I spoke to her for a minute?
Knock yourself out.
Charlie, what is it?
Why would God fill me with this desire
If I wasn't meant to be with her?
Sometimes some time apart is the best thing.
I could arrange that.
Would I get to stay in the house?
A temporary restraining order
would keephim way for...90 days.
But permanently?
You'd have to get a lawyer.
Do you know one?
Yeah. I know one.
She called you?
Yes- - I didn't call her.
She tells me things are going badly with Randy,
so I thought maybe I could helpher out
and introduce her to one of the guys in my office.
In fact, I did, I once introduced her to this other attorney,
Greg, who ' s this...
...guy who was murdered.
Anyway, she Just knew that Karen and I were having problems.
Were you?
Yes, you could say that.
Sexual problems?
Hey, you know...
Okay, if you want to label it, yeah.
But I 'm not saying it's Karen's fault.
Was it your fault?
Maybe it was Karen's fault.
Was there sex between you and this woman?
Yes.
You want it now, lawyer boy?
- Yes! Yes, please!
Oh, my God!
What happened there?
Wh-why'd we stop?
What?
I need to ask you for a favor.
Anything at all - - anything!
Um -hmm, um -hmm.
I 'm gonna need some legal advice soon.
You got it!
You got it.
You aren't Just saying that? - You got it.
You want this? You like it?
Can you helpme?
Anything! - Say it!
I will give you legal advice.
Say it! - I will give you legal advice!
- Say... it!!!
I 'm saying, I will give you legal advice.
Yeah? - Whooah!
-She whipped you? - Yes.
With a whip? - Yes.
And you en Joyed it?
Yes.
Charlie I spent so much time
going by her house,
ifyou didn't know my intentions were pure
you d think I was stalking her
Hello.
Hi.
I looked for any excuse to go see her
I spoke to a friend of mine
about helping you with keeping the house.
Oh, good. Thanks.
I, uh, I Just
wish I had known a bit sooner.
See, I already sort of contacted this other lawyer.
Well, if you'd rather use him - -
It's Just that I 'm not sure if I can get my retainer back.
Well, lawyers- -
They' ll always try to find a way to screw you.
Yeah.
Well, I-I better --
I, uh -- - Yeah?
I was making some supper...
If you'd like to...
It's nothing special.
Surely this was the hand of God.
How do you mean, Charlie?
In an instant I was transformed from a broken man, made whole.
It was like Theresa had been brought back to me
She even looked like Theresa - -
The way she moved,
The way she smiled
♪ Her skin is like velvet ♪
♪ Her face cut from stone ♪
♪ Her eyes when she's smiling... ♪
Can I helpyou with that? - No thanks.
I ' ll be right back.
She even made linguini with tomatoes and onions
Iike Theresa used to
Linguini with tomatoes and onions.
Jeez.
What's that?
Oh - - Nothing.
Probably Just a cat got into the garbage.
Bread? - Thanks.
How come you never wear a uniform?
I 'm a detective.
Sometimes I do, it depends.
I bet you look real good in it.
I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face
I was so happy
Because of her I lost my Job,
I lost my house,
I 'm an accessory in not only one, but two murders.
- Shh!
Randy: I couldn't stopthinking about her
Okay, maybe I wasn t allowed on the property,
but that didn't mean I couldn t keepan eye on her
And then
she did something that sent me over the edge
I knew I had to do something
something drastic to salvage
what little I had left
I got the ten thousand.
Bingo parlor, right?
Burmeister: Yeah.
The code is,
I say, " It looks like we might get some rain"...
We came upwith a code.
I said, "Looks like we might get some rain" - -
Yeah, yeah, I know this part.
Yeah, right.
You slept with Randy's girlfriend?!
I mean, it's not like I never did anything for him.
He called and he needed ten grand,
so I advised him for free,
I advised him how he could borrow
against that old crappy house his mom left him.
You're missing the point.
How did you feel after you slept with your cousin's girlfriend?
He's not even a cousin, really,
He's my uncle's wife's brother's kid.
So he's not a blood relative or anything.
Did she ever call and ask for legal advice?
No. No. I keepwaiting.
It's like she's teasing me.
I 'm dying to give her legal advice.
I Just seem to be thinking about her more and more
Woman: Excuse me.
There's a police detective here to see you about Greg.
Sure.
Thanks.
- Sorry about the mess,
I 'm in the middle of changing offices.
How well did you know Greg Spradling?
Uh, not that well,
we worked here for the last four or five years.
You were both upfor the same promotion, weren't you?
No, not - -
Not really.
Greg was a good guy - -
No disrespect for the dead - -
Not really partner material.
So no matter who I ' m talking to,
she's Just - - she's on my mind.
Can you think of anything that might be useful to us
in our investigation?
Sounds to me like he picked upsome rough trade.
Who knows what happened?
There could have been...
... Ieather.
There could have been some bondage...
Maybe those spiky things...
Maybe some whipping.
Could have been pretty kinky.
But we all know what that's like, right?
No sir, I don't.
That's how much she messed me up.
I mean, I 'm being investigated for a murder,
and all I can think about is her.
And the whip? - Yes.
There was another reason I went to see her that day.
Something had come up at work
The shoeprints we found on Winfield road
turned out to be Converse All -Stars,
the same brand the boyfriend wore
And if he was there,
there was a chance she might have been
I had the same sick feeling in my stomach
that I had when I was waiting for The results
to come back from the lab at the hospital
Unfortunately, her print did match one at the murder site
That scum, that boyfriend of hers
There ' s no telling what he forced her to do
before I came along - - I wasn 't going to let her
get dragged into a murder investigation
I knew she had nothing to do with it
There ' s something I have to ask you.
Is it an inside question or an outside question?
There was a burglary last week on Winfield Road.
A man was killed.
- Was she able to convince you
that she didn't have anything to do with it?
She was very convincing
It was a miracle!
♪ The way you move ♪
♪ Your sexy body ♪
♪ It makes we want to get to know you ♪
♪ A little bit better. ♪
Sex?!
Oh - -
There was sex?
God helpme, It was wonderful.
No, for me to helpyou,
I -I need to hear everything.
See, you have to tell me all about
the-the-various acts of physical congress between - -
- I already told you that.
Okay, no, that's fine,
I 'm not- - it doesn't- -
I shouldn't have done that.
It's okay, I wanted to.
Are you going to arrest Randy?
I 've got a warrant out for him now.
That car he's driving is stolen.
Add a murder charge to that
and you won't see him for a long time.
So I ' ll get to keepthe house.
This...
This is all I have left.
How not perfect can one woman be?
Aces in the boink department.
Got yourself a snazzy new watch.
Like this is supposed to make everything better?
But you gotta admit, that' s a beaut.
Here ' s the money, Just take it.
Take it. Take it! - Shh!
Kid - - easy, easy.
Would the owner of a blue Geo Metro
Missouri license plates 87KP03 please report
to the front desk.
Is that my car?
You got any idea what they want?
No.
Is there any possibility that she might have - -
Stolen? - Yeah.
Bingo lady: I want to remind everyone
that Saturday is " Hawaiian night."
She gave me a stolen car.
Women are much more complicated than we think they are.
C'mon, let's get out of here.
Announcer: We' ll get back to the game
as soon as the troopers finish their business.
Cop: Sir, is this your car?
Burmeister: That piece of shit?
Officer, what do I look like?
You know, to tell you the truth,
she doesn't sound worse than most of 'em.
- But you' ll do it, right?
Business is business.
♪ A wanted man in Mississippi ♪
♪ A wanted man in old Cheyenne ♪
♪ Wherever you might look tonight ♪
♪ You might see this wanted man ♪ ♪
What do you think?
Oh, what do I think?
Oh, the flesh is weak...
But ours is a forgiving God.
But I destroyed evidence
I withheld information for a murder investigation
- Charlie, look - -
You deserve some happiness.
The kind of happiness that a...
...a good woman can bring a man.
Oh...
Yes, I have this great Job
and this great office and this great family
and this great house - -
How does this make you feel?
Empty.
I feel nothing.
And who knows, it happened so fast.
I mean, here's this guy in my office - -
- - what is he, thirty-five years old - -
and he goes like that.
I could walk out of your office
and get hit by a truck.
I don't want to live like that anymore.
Let me Just feel something, anything,
and then I will look up and I will say,
"Thank you, God. Thank you for that gift."
And...then if the truck wants to get me, then okay.
And then I meet this woman.
She makes me feel...
Thank you.
Oh...
I 'm sorry.
- Have you acted on your desire to see this woman again?
Do you think I should?
Time's up.
What?
Sorry, time's up.
What, are you kidding me?
Are you Joking? - Your time's up.
Do you think I should see her? Just tell me that!
♪ A wanted man in California ♪
♪ A wanted man in Buffalo ♪
♪ A wanted man in Kansas City... ♪
So this is it, huh?
Could be Boise or Boston.
Point is, she ain't anywhere around.
Check in, you get yourself known.
Go out, talk to the clerks in stores, waitresses, the works.
You got a calling card? - Yeah.
Make some long distance calls.
Anything to prove you've been here for a couple of days.
Awright? - Gotcha.
Not so fast, Slick.
Now I ' ll take the money.
Oh, yeah.
There it is. Ten thousand dollars.
You're not gonna count it?
Nah.
You trust me?
No. But I do kill people.
Right.
I ' ll be callin' by seven.
You think I 'm a bad person?
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Would you like to try our new fragrance?
Good after - -
- No thanks.
Hi sir. Would you like to try our new fragrance?
No thanks.
Yeah?
Hey buddy, It's me, Randy.
- Hey, I was Just talkin' to somebody about you.
What, uh, what's up?
- Not a whole hell of a lot.
I 'm Just here in Collinsville.
Jewel and I needed a little time away from each other.
Oh...
So, uh, so she didn't go with you?
- No, man.
So she's-- She's home,
she's all by herself now?
Jewel and I had a little bit of a tiff.
Good. Spend a coupla days away and let things cool off.
And you know what? Thing's will work out fine.
Do you really think so? - Absolutely!
Okay.
Stay there! Okay.
TV : Are you all alone? Are you heartbroken?
Did something happen to the romance?
Did things get out of hand,
and now you ' re afraid they've gone too far?
Are you about to lose that someone special forever?
If you are one of the 97 out of 100 men
who surveys tell us suffer deepemotional pains,
then I am talking to you!
Don 't lose that someone - - Act now!
We have psychics trained and standing by
to helpyou through this difficult period.
Don't lose that special someone!
Pick upthe phone
and bring the Jewel back into your life!
Tomorrow may be too late...
Call EPS now! Don't waste another minute!
Man: Hey! What are you doing!?
Garbage man: Hey!
Come on!
Carl : ♪ When love comes rollin' upyour way ♪
♪ Open up and let that breeze blow ♪
♪ 'Cause today's your lucky day ♪
No, I don't want to talk to the kids.
Can you Just tell them?
Don't-don't put them on.
You don't have to - - Hi, Sweetie!
Um, ah, no. Daddy's not gonna be home.
What do you mean?
Well, how did the dog get out?
Well, where's his leash?
Okay, Daddy's gotta --
Daddy's gotta go.
- Dad, don't -- Okay, Sweetheart.
Cosmetic department, please.
Cosmetic department!
Bye.
you can't Just barge into somebody's house!
Keepyour hands up, Scummo.
You are in big trouble.
You need a search warrant.
I happen to be an attorney.
I Just made partner
at the second-largest law firm in the state.
That's where I 've seen you before.
You need a search warrant.
This is my girlfriend's house!
Bullshit! This is Randy Weltzer's house.
He happens to be my cousin.
He's your cousin? - Yes.
And as his attorney, I can assure you
that he will be filing a suit against you
and the entire St. Louis Police Department.
Well, I guess it' ll be right after he stands trial
for the murder of your former associate Gregory Spradling.
Wh-what?!
Are you crazy?
Mister, you better take a good long look in the mirror
before you call somebody else crazy.
Get your clothes on. I ' m takin' you in.
Okay, um, for what?
For murder.
You and Spradling were in competition for the same position.
So you and your...
...gay incestuous lover killed him.
What?! No- -
First of all, I am not gay.
Interesting choice of wardrobe, then.
I 'm married, with two kids.
Ha ha!
I 'm so not gay,
I 'm here to fuck my cousin's girlfriend.
I oughta shoot you right now.
He's not really my cousin,
he's my uncle's wife's brother's kid.
That's enough!
- Come on, hey!
Freeze! Freeze!!!
You're making a very big mistake.
You better watch it, buddy, I am an attorney!
Get down!
You're making a very serious mistake!
Shut up! - Ungh!!!
Un!!! You're in big trouble!
Carl : Okay, here she is.
She' ll clear up this whole thing.
What are you doing here?!
Uh, Carl...
What's goin' on?
It's not what it looks like.
Why are you wearing that?
Like you don't know.
Hey, I 'm not the one
who's got him bent over the table.
This is official police business.
Carl, what are you doing here?!
Where is Jewel?
It was Just that one time with me and Jewel, I swear.
What do you mean, one time?
You're Iyin'. She never let you touch her.
Yeah, not like you, her "boyfriend."
Do you believe that? He calls himself Jewel 's boyfriend!
I 'm warning you.
Where is she?!
I was expecting her here any minute!
Why do you think I 'm dressed like this, for Halloween?
You're dressed like that because your perverted cousin - -
Wait a minute. We gotta find her!
You are violating a restraining order and are under arrest!
You don 't understand.
Someone is coming here to kill her!
Him?
Huh?
No.
Which one of you homos
killed my brother?
I 'm not gay - -
Shut up!
I understand the man that killed my brother, Utah,
he lives here.
And I 'm not leaving 'till I kill him.
Now, which one of you was it?
I said, which one of you
was it!?
I-I-I 'm an attorney.
I 'm sure you and your brother were very close - - that's good.
Avenging his death, wanting to avenge his death,
that's admirable, who doesn't understand that?
But as a lawyer...
What the hell?
Jewel : You want to explain to me
what you're doing
Iooking through the window of my house?
Give me your gun.
I lost my dog, uh - -
he came off his leash.
And you need a. 357 for that?
Well, it's a rough neighborhood...
... Jewel.
You should know that.
Look at these guys.
Carl : Legally, you're swimming
against the current here,
but you've got think about the fact
that if you kill all three of us,
you will be adding here, and I 'm Just guessing,
a second and possibly third strike
to your record.
Which would be heading you
to some very serious prison time.
You I ' ll kill Just for annoying me.
Now, I would appreciate
if the man that killed my brother Utah
would stepforward and take responsibility
for their actions,
or I will have no other choice
than to kill all you daN...
...Village People!
Now...somebody
better damnwell
start talkin'!
Aaah!!!!
Aah!
Lord, please don't let them find me in this outfit!
Aaahh!!!!
I 'm really gonna miss that little house.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
When I 'm on the road a few days
I really miss my place.
You have a house?
Oh, yeah -- I 'm a real homebody.
Nothin' I like better than stayin' home on a quiet night
watchin' a good movie on my DVD.
You have a DVD?
If you're gonna have a first-rate home entertainment center,
you gotta have a DVD.
Not that my place doesn't need some fixin' up.
Hell, I was even thinking about putting in a fountain.
Yeah.
Thank you, God!
♪ Y. M.C.A. ♪
♪ You can get yourself clean, ♪
♪ You can have a good meal, ♪
♪ You can do whatever you feel ♪
♪ Young man ♪
♪ Are you listenin' to me? ♪
♪ I said, young man, ♪
♪ What do you want to be? ♪
♪ I said, young man ♪
♪ You can make real your dreams ♪
♪ But you've got to ♪
♪ Know this one thing: ♪
♪ No man does it all by himself... ♪ ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ She can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ And she can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on And on and on ♪
♪ She could always see through my hand, ♪
♪ Never was a fool for my master plan ♪
♪ And though I grew tired of the games ♪
♪ I would wait around for my luck to change ♪
♪ Does she not make my heart beat a little faster? ♪
♪ Doesn 't she move me like a natural disaster? ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ And she can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ And she can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on ♪
♪ She was always leading me on ♪
♪ And I would hang around till the break of dawn ♪
♪ Though I always fell for the bait ♪
♪ I was Just a pawn to manipulate ♪
♪ Does she not make my heart beat a little faster? ♪
♪ Doesn 't she move me like a natural disaster? ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ She can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ She can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to mention how the boys line up♪
♪ She can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on. ♪
♪ She likes the attention ♪
♪ Not to menton how the boys line up♪
♪ And she can't stop turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on and on and on ♪
♪ Turnin' it on ♪
♪ And on and on ♪
♪ Turnin' it on ♪
♪ Turnin' it on and on and on... ♪ ♪